Using the lasso of truth . . .

Over the course of the last year, I have really been doing some soul searching.  Not the existential meaning of life type, but rather pondering what truly brings me joy.  In my time of reflection and rumination (Doesn’t everyone swirl their thoughts over and over, again and again?), I have discovered that while grief and sadness creep into my life, I am often a saboteur of my own joy.

If you are looking for some deep tell-all confessional, you are probably looking in the wrong place.  My life for the most part is an open book.  This is not because I tend to be a social media over-sharer. Rather much of my writing comes from sharing things dear to my heart, but also because I feel God’s hand guiding me to share the gritty stuff beyond the veneer.  Many times I don’t want to share the under layers.  I am content to keep that hidden from the eyes of others, but when I do share my humanness inevitably someone reaches out to tell me they thought they were the only person dealing with whatever is impacting my life at the moment.

Just recently I had one of those experiences.  A dear friend reached out after reading my Facebook post for our 25th wedding anniversary in which I explained that we were choosing to say “I do” everyday despite the fact that we get on each other’s last nerves sometimes.  What she said completely blew me away.  “Thank you for being transparent, because from the outside looking in you are the perfect couple living the perfect life.”  My knee-jerk reaction was to laugh out loud because we are far from perfect.  But her remarks reminded me at how important it is to share that life isn’t always Pinterest pretty.

Not perfect, but spent a perfect day celebrating together with family!

So here I sit ready to proclaim how I sabotage my own happiness.  In my pursuit for the jaunty chapeau, I have had to learn that no matter how much I or my children play into my fantasy. I am not really Wonder Woman.  By that I mean that I cannot do everything that I desire to do or complete all the requests for my time.

My head understands this, but my heart always seems to respond for assistance in all things that lead to Truth, Justice and the American Way.  

Some of my friends say that I actually exhaust them.  I am a wife, mom, doctoral student, adjunct professor at not one but two universities, author, speaker, advocate, volunteer, and small business owner.  I cannot do all of them with equal time and attention, but I find great strength in being truly multi-dimensional as well as deep seated gratefulness for receiving talents to pursue many different interests and passions.

Yet, every “yes” means a “no” to something else and therein lies the problem.  As I have striven to simplify most every angle of my life, I have learned that while it is easy for me to part with material clutter and electronic overload, for some reason I struggle to simply say “no, but thanks for thinking of me”. Wonder Woman never frets about how she is going to get it all done, but I do on a regular basis.  My inability to say to “no” often robs me of the joy of living simply.

I believe I don’t stand alone.  Even though we don’t don capes and tights, there are many moms, like me who are juggling many different tiaras and who are using their powers to give back to their families, their work places, and their communities.  While we can’t jump in our invisible planes to get away from it all, we can pause before we say “yes” to things that may take us away from the ones and the activities that we love and along the way, learn to discern what God’s plans are compared to our own.

Perhaps, just perhaps, recognizing this is a superpower after all. . .

Whatever is keeping you from living joyfully, I pray that you find away to use your lasso of truth to rope you back in.