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Our sunshine from heaven

February 20, 2016

Hey Reed – Today before I opened my eyes, my ears heard the tell-tale signs of rain.  My heart was somehow relieved, an acknowledgement heaven was crying with me, with us, on your heaven day.  The cold rain fell and the winds blew – reminding me how grief sometimes storms my heart.

But then just like this actual day, I am reminded of one little promise.

And God said, “Let there be light.”

The gray skies were still reigning.  My heart was with Sawyer, Erin, and Clo hoping that no matter what was going on in their schools today that they were being loved. The unexpected shone brightly and my heart felt lighter.

And God said, “Let there be light.”

The rain plastered the picture window, but the calls, the texts, the Facebook messages, the cards were stronger.  Laughter peeled when love came riding up in a minivan. There were bended knees and we felt each prayer lifted up. Each kindness sang a melody of “You are loved. He is not forgotten. You are loved. We are with you. ”

And God said, “Let there be light.”

When I wasn’t watching the rain lifted, and the sunshine came out in full force.  I don’t recall the last time the sun shone as bright on your heaven day.  I felt wrapped in one of those sneaky from behind hugs you mastered in your time on earth.

And God said, “Let there be light.” 

Yours shines brightly still. 

I can feel the warmth radiating through glass panes.  We still deal with many layers of the grief and the aftermath of this day. Then there are moments when I remember how incredibly lucky we are to have such amazing, resilient and kindhearted kiddos.  I think you would be proud of them.  The college guy comes home and we forget to tell him we are going to a game with a passel of 5th grade girls.  The results melted my heart and remind me of how much you loved others.


And God said, “Let there be light.”

Remember all the hours you spent in the church nursery loving on the little ones.  Sister shares those genes.  We went to another game, and this happened.


That morning, she didn’t even know those kiddos.  By suppertime, they moved their chairs to sit by her at the restaurant.  She loves them all. I swear we cannot go anywhere without a little one running up and giving her a hug.  It is beautiful and precious and I think you must be doing this every day in heaven.

And God said, “Let there be light.”

Then there is the littlest one.  I blink and often I think that she is you.  You share so many of the same loves that I forget you didn’t share more time together.  We still tell the stories.  We share the tales – lest she forget the details.  One day, she sang and sang in her room.  I listened to the music, but didn’t hear the words.  When she shared, my heart ached for more time, but I now know she won’t forget.


And God said, “Let there be light.”

And while you were here, yours shone the brightest of all. 

Reed – we love and miss you every day. 

Love – Mom













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