Where the dance will lead . . .
In addition to the tender moment shared yesterday, there were a couple more moments that took my breath away at the hospital. One in quiet reflection, and the other in laughter.
Over the course of the summer, my pastor has had a wonderful sermon series entitled, “What’s messing with your faith?”. His transparency is palpably real as he confesses to struggle with each topic. His genuineness in delivery has touched me very deeply, because I struggle with all the same things. These things that mess with our faith take us so far away from contentment in God’s plans for our lives.
On my travels, I decided that I would use what God had been stirring in my heart based on what I had gleaned from each topic this summer. With a renewed spirit, I wanted to travel with no agenda other than to love and to serve.
Just a few days ago, I saw a post a friend had on Facebook and it read something like this. “Are you waiting on God? Tell me then, when did you ever get ahead of Him?” Those were very convicting words, indeed!
The times when my faith is the most vulnerable is when I allow – worry, fear, bitterness, doubt, or busyness – to lead my thoughts. So upon embarking on this journey, I decided to just follow. Follow where God took me, and not try to get ahead of Him. It was already evident that traveling this far from home was His idea; so why not enjoy the travels.
One Saturday in July, following God’s heart took me to the hospital bed of a black grandfather and pastor. As we sat there swapping stories, I felt compelled to ask a question. When I say compelled, it was like an explosion of my soul as I was being pulled farther and farther away from the shore of my control. My question was simple. Can we pray?
Just the four of us, including the patient, clasped hands and prayed. I prayed for peace, for healing, for wisdom, and for all the things God laid on my heart. It was beautiful and tender and very much God-breathed.
As family members and hospital staff came in and out of the room, Ninny would introduce me. “This is Kandy. She is Bug’s friend, and she KNOWS the Lord.” Not one single person that entered that room was spared of that introduction. Those words made me smile, at first, but later became a badge of honor. I was His beloved, and I KNOW His love. I had never stopped to think of myself using those words, but they tasted so sweet. THIS is Miss Kandy, AND she KNOWS the Lord!
As the day unfolded, I was unceremoniously adopted as “Daddy” proclaimed me, somewhat teasingly, as his to the nurse. She came in to take some vital sign measurements and asked him how he was doing. Despite feeling pretty awful, it was joy to see that he still had a bit of mischief up his hospital gowned sleeve. He said that he was doing great because he got a new grand-daughter today.
“Really!”, she excitedly asked. “Where was she born?”
In a barely perceptible grin covered by the oxygen mask, he replied, “I have no idea, but you can ask her. She’s sitting right there.” At this point, he motioned to me sitting at the foot of the bed.
If I were a poker playing kind of gal, I would want to play cards with this nurse. The look of confusion was painstakingly present. How can this grown white woman suddenly be your granddaughter? The rest of us in the room could hardly contain our giggles.
I have to think at this point even Jesus snickered in heaven. His Dad’s love opens wide the door of family. When He does, you get a small glimpse of how He sees you and all his children. In those moments of tenderness and a fit of giggles, I began to see what transformative power slowing down and ceding control can do for your soul.
Allow God to lead the dance of your life’s journey, and see – just see – where He and the dance take you.